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我在安宁疗护病房见证的死亡

作者:admin 2020-10-29 我要评论

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快言快语的东北女性刘寅,一点也看不出快六十的样子。去年她在北京的一家医院筹建了安宁疗护病房,病房门口用中英文写着临终关怀倡导者西西里·桑德斯的一段话:“你很重要,因为你是你,即使活到最后一刻,你仍是那么重要……” 做了一辈子肿瘤科医生,刘寅见证了太多病人的离世。随着安宁疗护理念的推广,一些病人在身体“没有积极治疗价值”之后,接受着人生最后阶段的姑息治疗。刘寅说,做安宁疗护的人,需要识别他人的灵性痛苦。这项工作也可以做到和助产士一样,一个是帮人喜悦地迎来生命的奇迹,一个是帮人平静地接受生命的消失。而一个人死亡时能否平静,牵涉到家庭、社会等多方面现实。

 

刘寅在与病人和家属聊天

 

口述/刘寅  采写/吴琪  摄影/黄宇

患者何时不再需要积极治疗?

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安宁疗护工作是希望陪伴病人走好人生的最后一段路

 

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安宁疗护病区很注重病人的精神需求

 

无法按照自己的心愿去世

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刘寅与她的团队

 

最后的忏悔

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JIADAYEZHUYUANDEDI12TIAN,TAGENWOSHUO,TAYAOSILE,HUOBUGUODANGTIAN。WOZHIDAOTADIANJIERZI,WENTA:“WONENGBUNENGYONGNIDESHOUJIJINIERZIFADUANXIN?”FAWANTAXIANGSHUODE,WOYOUJIALEYIJU:“RUGUONIXIANGJIANNIBABAZUIHOUYIMIAN,QINGNIJINKUAIGUOLAI。”WOMENBUZHIDAOTAERZIHUIBUHUIHUIHUA,DENGDAIDEGUOCHENGYOUXIEAOREN。WOCHUMENZHENQULE,DENGDAOZHONGWUHUIDAOBINGFANG,HUSHIZHANGTEBIEGAOXINGDISHUO,JIADAYEDEERXIFUXIALEBANJIUGUOLAI。ZHENSHICANGTIANBUFUKUXINREN。WOGAOSUJIADAYEDESHIHOU,TADESHENQINGMASHANGJIUBUYIYANGLE,XIANGHUANLEGEREN。

DENGERXIFUDAOLAIHOU,TAJIWOMENJIANGLE13NIANQIANLAOYEZIYULAOBANLIHUN,NAZOUJIALIQUANBUXIANJINBINGDUANJUELEFUZIGUANXI,ZHIHOUZAIWUWANGLAI。WODUIJIADAYEDEERXIFUSHUO:“LAOYEZIFEICHANGXIANGNIANERZIHELAOBAN,TASHUORUGUONENGJIANERZIYIMIAN,ZHEIBEIZIJIUKEYIFANPIANLA。”JIADAYEDEERXIFUSHUO:“TAMENFUZIDEMAODUNTAISHEN,HENNANHUAJIE。WOZHEIJITIANTIANTIANHETASHUO,TAJIANJUEBULAI,HAIDUIWOFAPIQI。”

WOGENJIADAYEDEERXIFUGOUTONG,SHUOWOJICHUSANGELIYOU,XIWANGERZILAIKANKANTA。DIYIGE,BUGUANTADUITABAYOUDUODAYUANHEN,XIWANGTAZAITABAHUOZHEDESHIHOUNENGBAZHEIYUANQISACHULAI,ERBUSHIDAIYIBEIZI;DIERGE,WOBUXIWANGDENGTADAOWANNIAN,HUIXIANGQIJINTIANDESHIQINGHOUHUI,TAYINGGAIJIZIJIDEHAIZIZUOYIGEHAOBANGYANG;DISANGE,RUGUOLAOTOUHAIYOUSHENMECAICHANFANGMIANDEWENTI,BUGUANTASHIYOUQIANHAISHIFUZHAI,XIWANGTAZAIHUODESHIHOUGENNIMENJIANGQINGCHU,ZHEIYANGCHULIQILAIYAOFANGBIANDEDUO。

BENLAIZHEIXIESHIQINGDOUSHIBINGRENDEJIAWUSHI,WOMENYIHURENYUANCANYUSHENLEBINGBUHESHI,KESHIRUGUOBUBAJIADAYEDEXINJIEJIEKAI,JIADAYESHIBUHUIZOUDEXINANDE。ANNINGLIAOHUZHONGYOUTAIDUODESHIQINGBUSHIKAOYILIAOSHOUDUANNENGGOUJIEJUEDE。ANNINGLIAOHUSUOTICHANGDE“QUANREN、QUANJIA、QUANCHENG、QUANDUI”SIQUANZHAOGU,YETIXIANYIXUESHIYOUWENDUDERENWENGUANHUAI,SHIANNINGLIAOHUDEZHONGYAOZUCHENGBUFEN。

DENGDAODIERTIANZHONGWU11DIANDUO,JIADAYEDEERZILAILE!TASHIYIGE50DUOSUIDEHANHOUZHONGNIANREN。TACHONGWOZUOLEYIGEYI,WOHAILELI。WOJIAOTAJIASHIFU。JIASHIFUSHUO:“LAOTOUDEZUINIESANTIANSHUOBUWAN。”WOSHUO:“JINTIANZHENSHITAIXIEXIENILE,NINENGGUOLAIWOZHENDEFEICHANGXIEXIENI。QITASHIQINGWANDIANSHUO,WOMENXIANQUKANKANLAOREN。”JIASHIFUZOUDAOCHUANGQIAN,LAZHELAOYEZIDESHOUJIAOLEYISHENG“BA”。JIADAYEMOMOHUHUZHONGMANMANZHUANGUOSHENLAI,ZHENGYANKANLEYIXIA,YIWEISHIZUOMENGNI。JIADAYEJIANDAOERZI,AI,BENLAIHENHUNBULINDEYIGELAOTOUER,ZHENDESHIQIQIAIAIDIKULEWUFENZHONG,YISHOUMOZHEZIJIDEERDUO,YISHOUWUZHEXIONGKOU,SHUOBUCHUHUA。WOMENGANJINJITASHETOUXIASAILELIANGKESUXIAOJIUXINWAN,PATATAIJIDONG。

JIADAYEYIZHIZAIWENERZI:“NIMAZHIDAONILAIKANWOLEMA?”QISHITALAOBANLIANGGEYUEQIANJIUQUSHILE,ERZIMEIYOUGAOSUTA。

CONGBINGFANGCHULAI,JIASHIFUGENWOSHUO,TADESHOUJIHAOZAOJIUYINGGAIHUANDIAO,ZHISUOYILIULEZHEISHIJINIAN,“JIUDENGZHEZUIHOUYITIAN,KANSHIHUOZANGCHANGHAISHIPAICHUSUOJIWODADIANHUA,JIAOWOQUSHOUSHI”。TAYEYIZHILIUZHEFUQINLIJIASHIXIEJITADEZHITIAO——“SHENGBUSHANYANG,SIBUSONGZHONG”。JIASHIFUGENWOSHUO:“RUGUOBUSHIYINWEIZHURENHEHUSHIZHANG,WOJINTIANSHIBUHUILAIDE,WOBULAIDUIBUQINIMEN。TASHENGLEWO,WOJITASONGZHONG,ZHEIJIUSHIYUAN。NINFANGXIN,HOUMIANDESHIWOHUIFUZEDE。”WOGENTASHUO,BUYAOZHISHIYUANHENNIBA,TANIANQINGSHIZAOYULEMINGYUNDEBUGONG,YESHIGEBEIJURENWU。

JIASHIFUMEITIANKANWOMENFADEXINXI,XINQINGHENFUZA,YEBUXIANGXINXIANZAIHAIYOUYIHURENYUANHUIGUANZHEIYANGDESHI。SUOYIWOMENZUOANNINGLIAOHUDERENYEYOUCHENGJIUGAN,BINGBUWANQUANZHIYOUBEISHANGHETONGKU。ZUOWOMENZHEIGEGONGZUODERENKEYUBUKEQIU,YIGERENNENGBUNENGSHIBIETARENDELINGXINGTONGKU,HUOXUYESHIZHONGTIANFEN。ANNINGLIAOHUYUXINLIJIANKANG、GERENCHENGXIN、FALVYUANZHU、BINZANGFUWUDEGUANXIYESHIFEICHANGMIQIEDE,ZHEIGEXINGYEHAIYOUHENDUOGONGZUOTIXIXUYAODAJIAN。YOUSHIHOUWOYEGENTONGSHIJIANG,WOMENZUODEHENDUOSHIQING,DOUBUSHIYISHENGHUSHIGAIZUODE,DANSHIANNINGLIAOHUBAWOMENDEZHIZEWAIYANKUODALE。

JIASHIFUTANFANGHOU,YOUGUOLE11TIAN,JIADAYEQUSHILE。QUSHIQIANNEIJITIANWOMENGENTALIAOTIAN,WENTAYOUSHENMEXINYUAN,XIWANGCHUANSHENMEYANGDEYIFULIKAI,TAHUIDASHUO“SUIBIANLE,WUSUOWEILE”。ERZILAIGUO,TADEXINYUANYILE,MANZULE!TAGENERZIJIANMIANSHIYETIDAO:“WOZHEIYIBEIZIDUIBUQINIMA,TAGENZHEWO,MEIYOUGUOGUOYITIAN翡翠棋牌。”DUIYUYIGEFEICHANGZISIDERENLAISHUO,LINZHONGQIANTACHANHUILE,YISHIDAOZIJIDEGUOCUO,YESUANBURONGYI。

JIADAYEQUSHIHOU,JIASHIFUBAFUQINDEGUHUIZANGZAILETAYEYEDESHENBIAN,BINGSHUOFULEQINQIMEN,TONGYITABABAYUTAMAMAHEZANG。ZHEIDUIJIADAYELAISHUO,YESHIGEYUANMANJIEJULE。

既然死亡不可避免

QIANDUANSHIJIAN,YIGELAORENZAIHEWOLIAODAOSIWANGSHISHUO:YIGERENQUSHI,YOUSANZHONGYIYISHANGDEXIAOSHI:DIYIGESHIROUTISHANGDEXIAOSHI;DIERGESHISHEHUIGUANXIDEXIAOSHI,BIRUYIGERENDEZUZHIGUANXI、SHEBAOZHEIXIEDEXIAOSHI;DISANGESHIJIYIDEXIAOSHI。YIGERENSHUOHUADESHENGYIN、XIAOSHENG,HUIXIAOSHI。WONENGGOUTANRANMIANDUISIWANG,DANXIWANGZISUNMENBUYAOTAIKUAIWANGJIWO。WOJUEDELAORENZONGJIEDETAIDAOWEILE。

WEISHENMEHUIYOUZHEIMEYIDUANTANHUANI?YINWEILAORENJIADELIANGGEERZI,BURENXINYUFUQINZUOZHEIYANGGUANYUSIWANGDEDUIHUA。LIANGGEERZIFEICHANGXIAOSHUN,DOUSHISIWUSHISUIDERENLE,XIAOERZIWEILEZHAOGUHUANAIDEMAMA,HAICIQULEGONGZUO。DAIDAOFUQINCHACHUAIZHENGWANQI,LIANGGEERZIXINLIHENBENGKUI,JUEDEWUFAXIANGFUQINTIAOMING,YEJUEDEFUQINCHENGSHOUBULEAIZHENGWANQIDESHISHI。

SUOYIWOCHENGDANLETANHUADE“RENWU”。WOJIECHUXIALAI,JUEDELAORENJIAFEICHANGKAIMING。WOMENYUDAOBUSHAOJIASHU,BUGAOSUBINGRENSHIQING,YIZAISHUOBINGRENHUIBENGKUI,DANSHISHISHISHANG,YIGERENMIANDUISIWANGSHI,WANGWANGBIJIASHUYUJIDEYAOJIANQIANGDEDUO。

WOBALAORENDEHUAZHUANDAJITADELIANGGEERZI,JIANYITAMENBALAORENDEZHAOPIANZUOCHENGSHIPINHEJI,RANGTAZHIDAO,JIYIHUIBAOLIU。LIANGGEERZIXIAOSHUN,HENBUYUANYITANLUNFUQINJIJIANGLIQUDESHI。TAMENDUILAORENZHAOGUDEHENHAO,XIONGDILIANGJIUSHIPUTONGDEGONGXINJIECENG,KESHIJINZHIJINXIAO,MEITIANDOULAIKANWANGFUQIN。

LAORENHENHUODA,TAZHIDAOZIJIBUJIUJIANGLISHI,TASHIZHEIYANGGENWOMENSHUODE:“DIYI,XIWANGWOBUSHITONGKUDIZOU;DIER,RUGUOWOZOULE,JIALIJIUMEIYOUFUDANLE;DISAN,KEYIJIGUOJIAJIESHENGZIYUAN。”YIWEI80DUOSUILAORENDEJUEWU,RANGWOGANDONG。MEIGERENDUISIWANGDEKANFABUTONG,DANMEIGERENZUIHOUDEXINYUAN,DOUDASHANGLETACHENGZHANGDESHIDAILUOYIN。YIGERENNIANQINGSHISHOUDAODEJIAOYU,YINGXIANGTAYIBEIZI,SIWANGMIANQIANYESHIZHEIYANG。

WOMENZHEILIHAIYOUYIDUIZHISHIFENZI,YESHI80SUIZUOYOUDELAOREN。LIANGRENZAIXINHUASHEGONGZUOLEHENDUONIAN,ZAONIANSHIXUEXIAOYUZHONGDEDAXUESHENG。ZHANGFUDAOLEAIZHENGWANQI,QIZIZONGSHIRANGTAJIANQIANG,LAOTAITAISHUO:“NIKESHIBUERSHENWEIKE,NIYAOJIANQIANG,LAOTONGSHIMENLAIDIANHUADOURANGWOZHUANGAONI——YAOZHANSHENGJIBING,YAOHUOZHE。”LAOXIANSHENGSHUO:“ZHEIYANGTUOZHETAITONGKULE,WOBUYAOJIANQIANG,RAOLEWOBA,FANGWOZOUBA。”ANZHAOWOMENDEBANFA,WOZHAOJIZHUGUANYISHENG、HUSHIHEHUANZHEDELAOBAN、NVERYIKUAIZAICHUANGPANGKAILEGEJIATINGHUIYI,BINGRENBIAODALETAXIWANGJINKUAIJIESHUTONGKUDEYUANWANG。WOGENLAORENJIASHUO:“ZANMENBUQUZHUDONGJIESHUSHENGMING,DANYEBUQUYANHUANTA,ZHEIGEGUOCHENGWOMENJINLIANGRANGNIBUGANJUETONGKU,XINGMA?”YIJIARENHENKUAIDACHENGYIZHI,TONGYIGUXIZHILIAO。

LIANGTIANHOUJIUDAOLELAOXIANSHENGMILIUZHIJI,TALAZHELAOTAITAIDESHOU,SHUOLEYIJUWAIYU。LAOTAITAIHOULAIGAOSUWO,LAOTOUERZUIHOUYONGXIBANYAYUDUITASHUO“WOAINI”。LAOTAITAIYIBEIZIDOUMAIYUANLAOTOUERBULANGMAN,ZHEIZUIHOUDEGAOBAI,SHIXIANGDANGLANGMANLE。

NEITIANJIATINGHUIYIHOU,LAOLIANGKOUGUANZHEMENSHANGLIANGLEHENJIU,ZUIHOUJUEDINGLAOTAITAIJINHOUGENZHESHANGHAIDEDIDIMEIMEIYIQISHENGHUO。LAOXIANSHENGYIQUSHI,SHANGHAIDEQINRENGUOLAIJIELAOTAITAI,TAJIUGENZHEZOULE。ZHEISHIDUISIWANGHESHENGHUODOUKANDEFEICHANGTONGTOUDEYIDUILAOREN,WOJUEDETAMENSHIXINGFUDE。

ANNINGLIAOHUYEJIAOLINZHONGGUANHUAI,SHIBANGZHURENMENZOUGUORENSHENGZUIHOUYIDUANLUDEYIZHONGFANGFA。ANNINGLIAOHURENSHIBANXINGZHE,RUHEBANGZHURENMEN“ZHIHUIDAOBIAN”,YAOQIUWOMENBUDUANDITANSUOHEJIANXING。ZUOANNINGLIAOHUSHIYIJIANBURONGYIDESHIQING。ZHEIJIANSHIQINGBUZENMEZHENGQIAN,HAIXUYAOTOURUDALIANGDEJINGLIHEQINGGAN,DANWOJUEDEZHEIXIANGGONGZUOHENYOUYIYIHECHENGJIUGAN,SUIRANHENDUORENBULIJIE。HAODEANNINGLIAOHU,NENGGOUSHIWOMENFAHUILEISIZHUCHANSHIDEZUOYONG,BANGZHUBINGRENANXINDIJINRULINGYIGESHIJIE。


1.BENZHANZUNXUNXINGYEGUIFAN,RENHEZHUANZAIDEGAOJIANDOUHUIMINGQUEBIAOZHUZUOZHEHELAIYUAN;2.BENZHANDEYUANCHUANGWENZHANG,QINGZHUANZAISHIWUBIZHUMINGWENZHANGZUOZHEHELAIYUAN,BUZUNZHONGYUANCHUANGDEXINGWEIWOMENJIANGZHUIJIUZEREN;3.ZUOZHETOUGAOKENENGHUIJINGWOMENBIANJIXIUGAIHUOBUCHONG。

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